Starman: An Escape

    I realize that I have been confessing to all of you players about my weaknesses and fears of the Powerups that are now available with my New Super Mario Bros. game.  I want to let you know that I SWEAR that I am not afraid of everything.  There is one Powerup that I really enjoy and that is the Starman.  If you play me, you may actually see me punch my fist in the air out of pure excitement the moment that I touch one of these stars.  Yes, the bang on the head once again hurts, but this time it is so worth the pain..

Want to know why?

Because not only am I strong and invincible, but I am also INVISIBLE to my enemies.  No  one can see me and therefore no one can see that I am doing all these bad things.  Isn't that great?! I don't have to feel bad for all the mayhem that I cause.  Isn't it ironic that the hero wants to be Invisible.  I think it is a foreshadowing of what is about to come...

Yes, I know that you players enjoy the thrill of me setting things on fire and destroying all the bad guys, but the truth is...I hate it.

I am not a bad guy I am just vulnerable and highly influenced by my peers.  You know my brother Luigi?  He is the bad brother.  He gets a a high out of beating up bad guys and never seems to mind getting a burn on the arm or a bump on the head.  He doesn't get car sick and doesn't have any allergies- Lucky bastard... 

    OH NO!  Ah..I am so sorry...I didn't mean to curse at my brother!  See what I mean?!?! All of this gaming is really taking a toll on who I am as a person.  Deep down, I am a normal guy.  All I really want to do is settle down with my love Princess Peach and have a few little Mario Peaches of our own.  I want to have a family and If I truly want to do that....then I can't play this game anymore.

I am sorry players...

I announce my retirement from Super Mario Brothers.  I have loved playing with you all these years, but all of these trials and obstacles have really made me depressed.  Sure, when I was a young, hip guy I loved the thrill, but now I am over thirty years old and I need to settle down. The name will just now be Super Luigi.  You will have fun with him.  He is the fun one...not me. *sniff* Sorry...I cry.

I will now leave you by quoting my favorite Whitney Houston song....

"I will always love you..."

Mario

My bro Luigi and Me.  Gosh.  Look at me trying to be cool giving a peace sign.  Who was I kidding?  We all know Luigi is the cool brother. :(